Can i start off with a "what the fuck?" Yes, it's true that the Apprentice (UK) is the finest reality show on tv right now. Yes it's true that Margaret (Sir Alan's right hand woman) may be the most scary and brilliant woman on tv (her put down of Edinburgh university was classic). And yes, it's true that the true stars of this series are the enthusiastic Lee McQueen and dotty dame Lucinda. But amongst all this brilliant, pervy old Nicholas (Sir Alan's left hand man) interrupted this week's task of selling top class wedding dresses (as team Lee/Lucinda had chosen) to announce "They are probably not right for here. This is Birmingham not Knightsbridge!!!" What a fucking liberty :P That is my absolute pet peeve about London. That it seems to breed a minority of people who think that London is the be all and end all of Britain, when in fact there is a vibrant, creative, electic, expensive wedding dress affording world not far beyond the M25 corridor. It's practically xenophobic! (Which isn't a fear of Xena Warrior Princess as I initially thought). Tsk Naughty Nick. Tsk indeed :P Anyway, despite not being able to sell a single cake at a wedding fair (perhaps telling the bride to be that her choices were dull and would ruin her day might not have helped), part time Jewish boy Michael is STILL in the competition. I have to agree with The Apprentice: You're Fired ~ he does seem the type to scream out his own name during sex. Yeucch. Anyway, Darren is backing Lucinda to win. I'm all about Lee. Anyone who still says "buzzing" and "that's what i'm tor-king about" without any hint of irony is a ok with me...
LINK: Check out the face off of the dudes over at brillo GaySpy. Let me know your choice!!
Let's pop over to mainland europe for a while to see what's going on with the Danish version of The X Factor (yes that is Infernal lead singer as one of the judges!) ~ I've only checked it out sporadically on youtube, but two acts stood out to me. One went home ridiculously early - that would be the boyband above called RaiDen. Not only do they have a name that resembles a brand of deodorant, but they are not particularly brilliant. And perhaps that's why I slightly adore them. They look good, they sound ok-ish and they rock the black suit look. Check out their cheesetastic version of Tragedy here - you can almost sense them trying NOT to do the Steps moves :P Le sigh ~ let's hope popjustice doesn't get hold of them. They rip young boys dreams apart without a second thought!
Meanwhile, the other act went all the way and bloody won the thing. Far surpassing David Archuleta in terms of adorability is young Martin, who frankly almost (but not quite) reaches Same Difference levels of fluffiness. And what a winner's song he has been given. Show The Whole World would never be given to a winner in Britain because a) it's not a ballad b) it's a funky 70s disco tube c) it's got a proper video to it and d) it actually mirrors the style and talent that the artist showed throughout the competition. Bloody hell - imagine that. It's like Girls Aloud getting Sound Of The Underground all over again. Viva Martin :P
Finally, I pretty much ignored Britain's Got Talent last year - too many children singing and fat opera dudes. In fact the singing aspect of it bugs me a little bit. There are plenty of music shows to get your vocal chords out. Leave BGT to the freaks (double jointed contortionists) and geeks (a guy playing a surprisingly beautiful melody on the guitar, but oh so bloody humourless). However, amongst all the dross and jugglers, every so often something pops up that is so magical, so unbelievable and so whimsical it should be on Pushing Daisies. It's good-bad brilliant, if you see what I mean. Oh just watch the clip above. Hoop La La! You want to cringe at first, but then it's kind of brilliantly entertaining - and at the very very least it made me grin like a cheshire cat :P
Coming next week: all the good season finales (except Lost!) and my take on the very few new shows that look worth my while (Joss Whedon and JJ Abrams take a bow)...
Oh, I had no idea Danish Martin had a new single out! To be fair, though, that's not the winner's song--that was the much more typical "The 1" (this new single is the order equivalent of Leona's "Bleeding Love" instead of her Kelly cover or Shayne's "No Promises" instead of "That's My Goal"). Interesting direction here! That musical backing is so much fun.
ReplyDeleteHow I love "When You're Looking Like That"! Pop brilliance.
I actually thought the Popjustice post about Billiam was more...what's the word I'm looking for? I can't think of it--well, I guess not as incredibly and unreasonably harsh as you thought; I think it made some allowances and caveats ("If Billiam are enjoying what they're doing, and if they're honest and realistic with themselves about what their chances are, that's great.") that many people writing about groups like that don't. And the general point--that for a new boy band to properly break through in the UK, they need a hugely brilliant song--is probably right, even if not a hugely original point. Is it a post friendly towards them? Obviously not--it is harsh--and there are loads of times I disagree with Popjustice about boy bands or music in general and I know I wouldn't be happy if an artist I loved got negatively reviewed on the site, but I mean, that's Popjustice, I guess--it's not all sunshine there, and it didn't really seem any more harsh than what they've written about other stars...and I guess if Billiam are trying to get their singles to chart right up there with those other stars, then they're fair game too (though trust me, there are acts I love I wouldn't want to go for markets like the UK just because I know they'd suffer from trying to fit in there).
Gosh, I'm in a rambling mood today...and I feel like I'm coming across all contrary lately. I don't mean to sound that way if I am!
Still drunk n still in the doghouse with the missus. Oh well. Fizzypop still loves me! Hoop La La were ace in that bad cheesy way. And if i were a gay blokey i'd do Lee over Alex anytime. YOu haven't had many comments on this have you? It's like (site not named for legal reasons) who never gets more than 1 comment a week! Still - i expect chartrigger will decide which boy is most boffable! Goodnight!
ReplyDeletei want disco tube !
ReplyDeleteBut Birmingham really is not Knightsbridge!
ReplyDeleteI hate Knightsbridge, full of rude vile pigs with too much money. Is this a back-handed compliment to Birmingham? Hmmm...
Lee McQueen is such a dick but his ridiculous shouty-punchy mannerisms always entertain me, unlike Michael Sophocles who is only still in the show for shock-horror value. Lucinda or Raef to win!
PPG ~ And I had no idea that Martin had a debut single out. That kind of dampens my whole "brilliant idol first single" theory but still, it's quite good anyway.
ReplyDeleteYou are contrary lately and i am loving it! You feisty thing you!
Ben ~ I do love my comments but i can't say i lose any sleep over them! And Mr D'Luv hasn't weighed in with some deliciously tasteless comment about which one he'd do more :(
Glossy - what glossy wants, glossy gets :)
Dan ~ I love your knightsbridge comment. Hurrah. Sadly i think Nick is a knightsbridge twat so he probably really meant it. Raef is just too bland for me, though has impeccable manners so that's a plus...