- There is some onscreen graffiti at the beginning of the video, some waffle about how only luv can make you a player. Yes, LUV. It will all be Madonna's fault if Lourdes gets a crap English GCSE.
- Nicki and Mia are clearly head cheerleaders and are in awe of their squad's looks because they've made them wear these freaky masks. Masks are for hallowe'en and the bedroom, not for kickass cheer routines.
- Madonna kicks down a door and emerges from some dry ice, in a rain coat, sunglasses and a perambulator. Now that's how to make an entrance. I love how she is almost age appropriate with her outfit, though she is literally one velour tracksuit away from a power walk around a mall...
- She's off for a stroll down the street with her cheerleaders in tow. An american football dude (or just football dude if you are american and don't need the nationality distinction) flying tackles a construction sign out the way so she doesn't bump into it. Such dedication.
- (I actually sort of believe this is how Madonna walks around anyway, so this may be more of a documentary than a music video)
- There are interspersed (such an amarzipanning word, sounds so rude too) shots of Madonna in a black leotard sort of outfit while she wallpaper dances a brick wall. It's sort of like the Hung Up leotard but for when it's chilly out...
- The shades come off as it starts to rain and they are just thrown aside without a care in the world. I bet they were pricey too. If I threw my shades away every time I took them off, i would have to buy them from Primark or Poundland...
- The umbrellas go up and protect Madonna from the rain while she prances around like she's a modern day Gene Kelley.
- HRNK! The raincoat is off! Repeat - the raincoat is off! She is now strolling over some letterman jackets so she doesn't get her Laboutin shoes wet. The rain will just drip right off that leather basque though...
- Madonna walks right through a split in half taxi cab and the ballers walk her sideways along a wall. MAGIC!!
- (it's really about as convincing as Batman and Robin climbing up a building in the 60s tv show, but I do quite like it anyway)
- More strolling along with the cheerleaders and more dancing. Her hair looks really good actually. I must ask her what conditioner she uses as my roots feel a little fragile at the moment. Oh and that black leotard isn't a leotard. It's a black crop top with some of those high waist invisible pants that hold your belly in. Ahem, not that i'd know anything about that... *BREATHES IN*
- (I like the ostentatious cross she is wearing. Although it makes me yearn for Black Jesus and the brown underslip from Like A Prayer)
- Someone in a car tries to "off" madonna. It's probably Lady Gaga to be honest isn't it, because that backstreet New York locale is a far more entertaining take on it than in her Edge of Glory video. And didn't Debbie Gibson do dancing on rooftops and ladders first in Anything Is Possible?
- (Though I'm pretty sure she didn't try to breastfeed a baby doll in it, but who knows what hijinx went on in the behind the scenes clips??!)
- Madonna does a ballers version of All The Lovers and climbs to the top of the heap. She always knew how to claw her way to the top, and frankly that is where she belongs. Meanwhile interspersed Madonna dances like she is in the Beautiful Stranger video...
- Ooo Madonna is now all in white and dressed like Michelle Williams in My Week With Marilyn. Mia and Nicki look like robot dolls as they do their "keeping it real for the kids" raps (I do love a rap in a pop song though. Think Pebbles Backyard. Or Kylie Shocked!) Masked cheerleaders smooch in the background. I told you masks usually only work in the bedroom!!
- (I'm pretty sure the cheerleader routine was influenced by the 2m42 mark of this video!))
- Rocking Bette Midler's hair, delineate the pausinator at exactly 2m43s to see either a) Madonna make love to the camera or b) Madonna having a mild stroke. Answers on a postcard please!
- Madonna does a somewhat successful trust fall right after this. This has replaced her pre-show prayer circle obviously
- Two ballers break through a wall to catch trust falling Madonna who then gets off them with such a look of "beat that pop pretenders" on her face that you sort of want to get down on your knees and worship.
- It all ends with Madonna and crew dancing on top of the heads of the football team. As Lady Madonna, mother of pop, rips off the head of one of the footballers, fireworks fly out of their necks. Not her boobs because that is so overdone. Their necks. Amazing.
- Bring on super bowl Sunday!!
21 ~ Olly Murs, Dance With Me Tonight
20 ~ JLS, Do You Feel What I Feel?
19 ~ Madonna, Masterpiece
18 ~ Simon Curtis, How To Start A War
17 ~ Marcus Collins, Seven Nation Army
16 ~ Christopher, Nothing in Common
15 ~ The Overtones, Say What I Feel
14 ~ Darren Hayes, Black Out The Sun
13 ~ Eric Saade, Love Is Calling
12 ~ Kelly Clarkson, Stronger
11 ~ Neo, Fighting The Dark
10 ~ One Direction, One Thing
09 ~ Nicola Roberts, Yo Yo
08 ~ Auryn, Favourite Guy
07 ~ Jason Mraz, I Won't Give Up
06 ~ Scissor Sisters, Shady Love
05 ~ Little Jackie, 31 Flavours
04 ~ Le Kid, Human Behaviour
03 ~ Simon Curtis, Starlight (NE)
02 ~ Madonna, Give Me All Ur Luvin (NE)
01 ~ fun, We Are Young (5 weeks)
She is wearing a cross then hypocritemadge goes to a kabbalah center to fool Jews...
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