Video Analysis: The Wanted ~ Walks Like Rihanna

Though I think Walks Like Louis Spence would have been far more hilarious, you must have succumbed to the bonkers charm of The Wanted's zany new single, Walks Like Rihanna. As a concept, it's utterly bananas but it is executed with such flawless panache (good word - PANACHE) by the wanted fellas themselves that you soon find yourself hooked on that deliriously catchy chorus & their all too sweet vocals. It's all set to a down and dirty bassline, some soaring synths and a surprisingly dominant mellifluous streak to it - that melody during the refrain is to die for. Add to this a second hook in form of the middle 8 ("our hearts go boom boom, boom boom") and if you walk away (like Rihanna) after listening to this song without at least a little shufty in your step, and a little bit of the song on your lips then you may have to check your pulse as you are clearly clinically dead :) It's designed to be a rollicking good time as well as a jolly fine singalong song - and on both scores it totally succeeds. Plus, the video gives the boys the chance to have a spiffingly good time (perhaps the most fun since Gold Forever - and certainly more fun that rushing around to rescue some poor kidnapped lass in their last video for the splendid I Found You!) - here is more or less what goes down in this homage to boy bands past...

• The girl who presumably walks like Rihanna walks in. In unfeasibly fabulous shoes - the likes of which I've only ever seen before on a drag queen so I did have to double take to check she was a biological woman :) The Wanted chappies all do their best "phwoar" faces to evidence to us all that she is indeed quite beautiful.
• She takes a seat in front of Tom (aka the hottest one), crosses her legs (presumably Basic Instinct sty-lee) and the overexcited fella jizzes his water everywhere. Honestly, some people just can't hold their liquids :D
• Max pulls his phone out his pocket and gives the breakdown of what he envisions for the video - them being directed by the girl who walks like Rihanna (let's call her Ethel) in pastiches (good word - PASTICHE) of other boy band videos. It's like that Blink 182 video for All The Small Things, but with better looking people!
• THE WANTED ARE TIED UP ALERT!! Sort of. They are puppets on a string doing the N*Sync video for Bye Bye Bye. She gives them some direction and dance moves, which ensures they are just sort of flailing all over the place. She really can't dance, can she? Poor Ethel.
• (Random thought one: When people are all tied up in these puppety/hostage situations, do the crew just leave them like that and pop out for a coffee break?!)
• (Random thought two: It's a bit insulting really isn't it? Telling her she can't dance or sing, but then assuming it's ok to soften the insult by telling her she walks like Rihanna! What if she hates the way Rihanna walks?! This could be the most hurtful song since the nuns sang Maria down the aisle in the Sound of Music, pointing out all her flaws. The flibbertigibbet!)
• Jay is not convinced with Max's fun video concept and decides to go the mature route, so he suggests Backstreet Boys and I Want It That Way. Ergo, they are all in virgin white (!) and exhibiting more shocking dance routines. There's even a quick gun kiss from Max whose tank top looks like it was sprayed on top of that six pack. Not that I'm envious or anything (he says eating another jaffa cake and breathing in)...
• Young Nate goes old school and puts forward Take That's Back For Good as inspiration. It's all moody black and white, hanging around a battered old car and wearing oversized coats. It's like Topman only had XL left in stock... There is also a lot of getting wet and doing "sexy" poses. I love it when The Wanted display their comedic chops. One highlight is Nate getting his sexy wet on, only to have the camera pan back and reveal Siva pouring a bottle of water over him. Honestly, these boys and their inability to hold their liquids :D
• Ah, it's that catchy middle 8. The boys are all kitted out in classic black and white, while the lights go boom boom in time to the lyrics and Ethel has a wander around with (as my dad would say) pins that go on for days. Whatever that means...
• The video finishes with lots of clips from the various pastiches - including some excellent river dancing that will no doubt be an award winning fall back career :) (ditto Gangnam style. Amaze). So all in all Ethel done good :) Hurrah that Rihanna walking girl. Now bring on Walks Like Louis Spence...