Video Analysis: Army of Lovers ft Gravitonas ~ Signed On My Tattoo

There is something entirely brilliant and serendipitous about Gravitonas (an Alexander Bard band) featuring on the new Army of Lovers single (also an Alexander Bard band). In the space-time continuum, I fear we may have created a wormhole of pop-will-eat-itself that can only be filled by Steps releasing a single featuring H & Claire. But enough timey-wimey nonsense - what today is about is celebrating the aural and visual feast that has been created by the merging of these two groups & the one glorious song they sing together. Signed On My Tattoo is a lovely shimmering synth affair that showcases the softer side of Army of Lovers & allows the two acts to interact well together. Ingenius lyrics (what other pop song references a Sisyphean climb?) cascade like glittering raindrops alongside one of the most beautiful, mellifluous choruses you will hear all the live long year. Contemporary yet instantly classic - this is a song for the ages. That devilishly spoken middle 8 has me gagging for more as the sensuous rhythms ripple over one more run through that subtle yet oh so memorable chorus. And now, thank the gods, there is an accompanying video. Here is more or less my interpretation of what is going on...

• Ooo, it's like a movie. Or rather, it is a movie - "The Queen with the Dragon Tattoo". That just shows how progressive Sweden is. The Queen here would never get a tattoo. I think her skin with just evaporate if she tried now...
• Andreas is going down an escalator and checking his phone. He's probably checking for status updates or working out how to log onto Candy Crush...
• Alexander is also riding the escalators. He looks like he is in silent assassin mode. Perhaps if this video is a success, they will develop a computer game based on the story. Anyway, back to Alexander - he has a nasty looking shiv in his hand. Hopefully he is off to do some sort of wood wittling. Always a relaxing past time...
• The Queen With The Dragon Tattoo is giving it escalator eleganza as she glides with grace & infinite beauty. I'm totally going to carry myself that way on the commute home tonight. I will be the belle of the ball :)
• It has to be sad that while Jean-Pierre has at least made an effort to look stealthy, running around with your weapon in your hand (oo-er) isn't the most secretive way to approach a covert operation. Meanwhile Queen Camilla is trying on some fuck-me boots!
• Unless I'm very much mistaken Andreas pops on some 3D glasses to spy on some people having a bit of the ol' nookie. Or at least a very intense snogging session. Ooo la la...
• Talking of Andreas, verse 2 is his bit and he looks quite good in a suit. PS these may well be the longest escalators known to man. I think they go down as far as hell. Or at least heck - which is a suburb of hell. It's not as hot and you get Game of Thrones on a Sunday...
• Meanwhile, as blood drips all over the stairs, Andreas in silhouette form practises his best shooting poses in his apartment. He puts those Charlie's Angels to shame (and has a better ass)...
• OH NO! Shit just got real. Andreas has shot Jean Pierre. Those Charlie's Angels poses have paid off. Also, the flashes from the firing gun reminded me of when bullets hit Wonder Woman's magic bracelets and pinged harmlessly off into the distance...
• It's alright though - he's alive for the middle 8, although while he's skype-ing his lyrics to someone, Alexander cuts the Queen's throat. Poor Camilla (which is what as a nation we have been saying about Charles' missus for years now)...
• In other news, I love how Jean-Pierre holds his phone like it's a make up compact. Quite dainty. Plus, as an assassin, he can see behind himself at all times in the reflective screen. Clever, eh?!
• I have also decided that Andreas puts the ASS, SASS and SIN back in ASSASSIN!!
• Blimey! It's a killfest! Now Andreas has offed Alexander whose last act is to set off a grenade. TO BE CONTINUED...

THE DRAMA!!!