Jane Badler - Black Silk Stockings

Buy Black Silk Stockings here (Amazon UK)

I remember at an early age, whilst watching my heroine (Alexis Morrell Carrington Colby Dexter Rowan) berate a lowly stenographer (Krystle Jennings Carrington) on yet to be bettered prime time soap Dynasty, my mother informing my sisters and I that women who wear black silk stockings will always keep their man. While I, personally, have used other tricks to retain my fella, it clearly worked for her as she celebrates 54 years of marriage next month. One song that will be playing at the party is this sizzling dance-pop gem from another 80s heroine of mine, Jane Badler. Her latest single, Black Silk Stockings (wonderfully re-swizzled by Tracey Young) is the type of deliriously giddy groove that has me on the dancefloor before my slinking hips know what is happening. Jane's seductive vocal, dripping with allure and Hollywood glamour, cuts through the music like a diamond through glass - she's never overpowered by the effusive soundtrack that accompanies her; rather she plays with it to accentuate her purring appeal. Shimmering synths collide with riveting drum loops that canter along, crescendoing into an explosive rave-esque vibe that's like dropping mentos into a Coke. This addictive groove and Jane's mesmerising narrative insinuate themselves into the most inner cerebral cortex of your brain, taking up residence there and refusing to move out long after the song has finished playing. It is entirely too glorious for words (though clearly, I have given it a good go here) and not only guaranteed to get your Saturday night started with an electrifying jolt but also sure to give you funny feelings in your down below area :) Add to this a devilishly gothic video, with RuPaul's Drag Race stars, Morgan McMichael and Pandora Boxx, giving face and vamp for the GODS - and you have a winning package. Kinky sex, fantasy, I don't like reality. YUM.