Tommy Page - Paintings In My Mind (Anniversary Celebration)

US release date: March 12th 1990
US album chart peak: #38

Buy Paintings In My Mind here (Amazon GB)
Read my #PaintingsInMyMind30 singles project here
Read my Tommy Page album anniversary posts here

By the time 1990 rolled around, Tommy Page was pretty much my favourite male singer. Sure, he wasn't as famous in the UK as the likes of Jason Donovan but I had connected to the music of his eponymous debut album in such a way that I knew the songs would be a major part of the soundtrack of my life. I loved that he wrote his own music and explored his emotions through poetic, heartfelt (and sometimes sassy) lyrics. His second album, Paintings In My Mind, continued his creative journey and, thanks in no small part to global conquering boy band New Kids On The Block contributing to the opus, gave him the success he absolutely deserved. It introduced a whole host of new fans to his writing and singing style, a base he cultivated and kept over the years - always a sign of true success when people will follow a performer through their creative adventures. It was an album I fell in love with in 1990 - partly because of the beautiful blend of ballads and dance songs, all delivered with a tangible emotion; and partly because of what Tommy represented - that following your dreams and nurturing your talent can lead to rewards and acclaim. As an outcast kid trying to figure out what his sexuality meant to him in his religious environment, this was heady mix that yielded pop gold. Most importantly it is an album that has stayed with me through the years. The songs have accompanied me on my life journey and told my story at different touchpoints in a way far more eloquent and melodically than I ever could. His death a few years back hit me hard but it is his musical legacy that lives on forever.

The singles:

The album kicked off in spectacular style. I'll Be Your Everything was (wisely) chosen as single number one and gave him the hot shot debut at 51 on the Billboard charts in early February 1990. Pretty impressive for a guy whose previous chart peak had been 29 for A Shoulder To Cry On (a deserved should-have-been-number-one if ever there was one). Its initial success was mainly because hottest boy band on the planet at that time, New Kids On The Block, had contributed to writing and performing the song. I like to think its eventual chart topping status, however, was due to the overall appeal of the song (and Tommy's performance). It was archetypal classic ballad. It was both timely and timeless - it certainly felt as if it was inspired by the teen dream crooners of the 50s and 60s. From the chiming keyboards through to the sweeping strings and sumptuous saxophone riffs, everything was designed to accentuate and enhance the charming message of the lyrics. At the heart of the narrative is a romantic love song, the type that would easily make your knees go weak if Tommy were singing it as sweetly as he does to you (and believe me, I certainly imagined that scenario once or twice). The chorus could be just as much about friendship as it could a love story and it taught the young me that the two didn't need to be separate scenarios. The textured backing vocals from NKOTB add to the luxurious feel of the track, but there were moments of pop genius in the construction of the song too - the electric guitar kicking in during the bridge elevates the sense of fervent sincerity in Tommy's vocal; whilst the introduction of a second chorus (sung by the New Kids behind Tommy's main chorus) is as exhilarating and satisfying as any key change (and a moment in the song that always gives me goosebumps). America agreed and rewarded it with chart topping status, making it a great launch pad for the album.

This success was swiftly followed up with When I Dream Of You, a solo Tommy composition and performance. I always thought there must have been a tremendous temptation to go straight to the other NKOTB collaboration on the album, Turn On The Radio (more on that in a moment) but sanity won out; don't get me wrong - I love that song but Dream gave audiences the chance to see that Tommy could shine just as brightly on his own. The song was somewhat remixed for single release, giving people further enticement to invest in the cassingle. With a shuffling beat, more luxurious saxophone riffs and sweeping percussion, this yearning ballad saw Tommy reflect on the feelings stirring inside of him when he unconsciously thinks of a lost love. There was a definite sense of melancholy and sorrow in his performance that I found as captivating as any heartbreaking romantic movie. Add to this a video clip that saw a dapper Tommy roam the streets of Paris and the loneliness felt even more pronounced. While it didn't have the same chart impact as its predecessor, it did make number 44 on the Billboard Top 100 and kept his album buoyant for a few months longer. The time was then right for the aforementioned Turn On The Radio to be unleashed as a single. Co-written with Jordan Knight and Donnie Wahlberg, this breezy uplifting song was the perfect opportunity to remind folks how fun pop music could be. With a euphoric sax riff from Bob Gay permeating the pulsing percussive groove, Tommy encapsulated the excitement of hearing a song you love with relatable lyrics and an ebullient vocal. This was all wrapped in a melody so soaring it seemed that the sky couldn't contain its effervescent glee. Phil Harding (of UK's PWL Hit Factory) provided some glorious remixes to give the song an extra element of pizzazz (the Freestyle Remix is a particular favourite) which I would later track down on a German CD single (still one of my favourite Tommy items). Sadly the song didn't chart, but that didn't mean it didn't feel like a hit record every time I played it, buoying my spirits with its irrepressible charm.

With the law of diminishing returns applying to the singles from Paintings In My Mind it was understandable (but no less disappointing) that Sire decided to halt further releases from the album. Back in 2015, however (and one of his final releases), Tommy re-recorded the album track I Break Down and shared it with the world as a 25th anniversary gift. It was always a tender tale of holding it all together until you just can't anymore; the updated version (particularly in light of his untimely passing) takes on a whole new level of sadness that so many people will recognise in themselves. Whether you've experienced sorrow and loss through the torments of broken romance or just the pressures of life you'll be able to relate to the fragility of the cadence in Tommy's vocal narrative. On both the album and new version Tommy sings with an exquisitely nuanced tenderness that brings the words into a vivid focus, whilst pouring more passion and pathos into his restrained singing than a thousand belted-to-the-rafters moments could ever create. The song serves as a necessary reminder that expressing your feelings is an important part of healing, rather than keeping everything inside. Do find that person who will be a shoulder to cry on; and do be good to yourself and those around you. All these years later this song is still a soothing comfort for me in times of upset.

Album tracks:

The beauty of the mix tape in the early 90s was that you could carry on with your preferred singles from albums long after record labels had given up on them (much like the Spotify Playlist of the modern era). Quite honestly, picking potential hits from Paintings In My Mind was like shooting fish in a barrel (whatever that means). I could easily have marketed five-six songs from the album had I be in charge. An early favourite was a duet with Sa-Fire. Don't Give Up On Love not only introduced me to the Wilma Cosmé (meaning I tracked down her phenomenal debut album Sa-Fire but was queuing up to get her aces I Wasn't Born Yesterday opus released a year later), but gave shimmering dual vocal magic on a lilting mid-tempo ballad. Not only is it a lovely ode to not letting bad experiences hamper the potential for new romantic liaisons but it also has some great Fred Zarr keyboards and production (who I knew from his work on Debbie Gibson's first two albums). Fred was also involved with the blistering pop-dance track Til The End Of Time, a song that was just begging to be a single. A sumptuous wall of sound accompanied a finger click groove and Tommy's effusive vocal style; a performance that made you believe in the eternity of love (even if, like me, you hadn't experienced it yet). As a sixteen year old who had a new crush every other week (so it seemed) this song became somewhat of an anthem for me, dedicated to whichever heartthrob was adorning my wall at the time. I remember making my own extended remix of this by looping sections together on my dual deck tape recorder - wasn't brilliant, but it certainly had me yearning for a Shep Pettibone or C&C Music Factory remix to help this storm the clubs. Oh, and that middle 8 piano solo and spoken section still gives me chills of ecstasy to this day.

The devastation of Just Before (I Was Gonna Say I Love You) still hits me each time I listen to it. As heartbreaking as any break up of your favourite characters in a soap opera (oh Jeff Colby and Fallon Carrington, why couldn't you crazy kids just work it out). The aching of the deception is almost tangible, floating around the power ballad chorus like a lonely balloon let go into the windy skies. Tommy had always been adept at conveying emotions I found difficult to express - his eloquence and insightful singing always bought a sense of personal experience to the music (whether he had gone through that or just lived it through the lens of another). Even when he is delivering a pleading message through dance rhythms, as he does on Don't Walk Away, his anguish and sense of fervent urgency is palpable. This was slightly different to his other heartbreak anthems - here he is the perpetrator of the hurt and that gives the listener a whole new perspective of the singer; he's human just like the rest of us, liable to make mistakes and likely to feel regret and remorse for his actions. You're The Best Thing (which would later be released as a duet with Amy Matusa) finally sees Tommy getting some happy moments as he luxuriates in the glow of pure love. I always felt that while this was a love song on the surface, it could be about any relationship - friendships, family, lovers. Heck I think I even sang it to my dog once! A feel good sing-along bop that, while it definitely has a late 80s/early 90s vibe to the score, feels like a timeless 60s song that just took some decades to be written.

The album closes with the beautiful title track, Paintings In My Mind. It was a song I returned to over and over again whenever I played the album (which was often). There is an absolutely mesmerising quality to the gentleness of the piano-vocal duet; a graceful elegance to the poetic lyrics. The serenity of Tommy's voice captivates me every time I hear it and I think it is one of his finest performances from throughout his career. The gradual texture of the instrumental as the music progresses and the melancholy reflection of the words have more impact than a thousand harlequin romance novels, more vivid than any 10 part Netflix drama. Add a key change and a crescendo in the final chorus, it is clear Tommy sings not because it makes him feel better but because it is too painful for him to keep the emotions within. It is a downbeat but fitting finale to an album that has accompanied me on my life adventures and will continue to do so for many years to come. If you haven't played this recently immerse yourself back into the luscious tomes; if you haven't heard of Tommy before and this article has helped you discover him - well you have a whole treasure trove of songs to uncover and fall in love with.